I'm addicted to sleeping pills! But tonight I'm going cold turkey and not taking them anymore!
I know a lot of you struggle with sleep, as well. Maybe we can share our stories and help each other out.
It started about two years ago, I guess. One night I put my head down on the pillow and my heart started beating like I had just finished 45 minutes of cardio.
I wasn't stressed out. I wasn't thinking about work. I wasn't thinking about anything personal. My mind wasn't even racing.
I was tired but my heart just kept racing enough to keep me up. I figured it was one bad night of sleep. Well, that turned into another bad night of sleep; same symptoms. One night led into another 'til I was averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. I was cranky. I was short tempered. I was tired all day.
Again, not even stressed out.
I had to get some sleep. Somebody told that you couldn't get addicted to ambien so I started to take it. It was too strong for me. I was stumbling up the stairs to get bed. So I switched to Lunesta. I'm a little dude so a pill of 3m seemed like plenty. But, again, it was too much for me. So I started taking ¼ of a pill of Lunesta every night to go to sleep. That did the trick. For a while. Then ¼ turned into ½. Now ½ has turned into ¾. My body is adjusting.
My addiction is so bad that I'll take the pill in my pocket when I got to events during the week. I have to pop it by 9pm or I'm too groggy in the morning to do the show. So, I'll leave the party at 9pm and pop the pill on my way home. I have exactly one half an hour 'til the effects kick in and I have to be off the road. By 9:30 I'm home. By 9:40 I'm in bed. By 9:45 I'm out like a light.
If I go to a movie with my wife during the week I'm constantly checking the time during the movie and will pop the pill at 9pm before the movie is over. Stacey will drive home from the theater at the grogginess kicks in for me.
I take them on vacation.
I can't sleep without them anymore. It's got a hold of me.
This year my goal was to get into great shape. And I have. One of my best friends, Dolvett, owns a gym called Bodysculptorinc (http://www.bodysculptorinc.com). He has busted my ass. Years ago I started seeing a nutritionist (illana katz at http://www.thesportfactory.com/site/coaches/ilanakatz.shtml) and she taught me how to boost my metabolism by eating properly. I feel great and my body is right where I want it to be. I feel some pride when my shirt is off. I really feel like I'm in the best shape I've been in for some time.
Except for this damn pill! So last week I saw a "health coach." His name is Darren Fink (4047863612) and he specializes in holistic medicine. He has done all sorts of tests on me. I'm waiting on the results from a cortisol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol) test that I took. But Darren thinks that due to me weird work schedule that my Circadian Rhythm is all jacked up (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circadian_rhythm). He has me on a phosphatidylserine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosphatidylserine). It's a natural way to suppress those cortisol levels. We'll see if it works. I trust this guy. He actually got rid of my wife's migraines. Got her off all the drugs she was on and into a healthy pattern and after 5 years she'd not having headaches. I'm gonna give this guy a shot.
Either way, tonight is the night I'm going cold turkey off the Lunesta. No more. Just gonna stop taking it! I might only get two hours of sleep each night for the next week but I have to get off this stuff. I don't want to be dependent on it anymore.
I'll let you know how it goes. But I'm scared. I'm scared to go to sleep tonight. I'm scared of being frustrated by staring at the ceiling wondering when I'm going to get tired. I'm tired of getting up, going downstairs to watch TV, and going back into bed only to go back downstairs to kill more time. I'm afraid it's going to affect my job performance. I'm scared I'm going to snap at my wife and kids for awhile. I'm afraid I'm going to be back on this computer at midnight writing you guys again.
All I know is that I have to shake this 'cause the thought of being addicted to anything is worse than anything for me.
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11 comments:
I know what you are going through Bert. I take Benadryl at night because I'm afraid I cannot fall asleep naturally. It's just become a habit. Until recently... Once my 15 year old started asking if she could take Benadryl so she could go to sleep for a "big" day the next day, I knew I had set a bad precedent. So I started my weaning on a Friday night. That way, if I didn't sleep, I didn't have to get up the next morning at an earlier hour. And I had all weekend to recover. Two good nights rolled into a Sunday night where I wasn't grabbing the Benadryl. And I just got more and more confident. Now, I don't need it and my throat feels better (it was drying me out). You can do it Bert. Keep the faith. Go slow and believe in yourself.
Bert, I can relate. I don't go out late at night any longer, because I know that I take my pills at 9:30, so by 9:00 I am home, by 9:15 I have a snack so I don't take it on an empty stomach and by 9:30 the pills are in and I am asleep by 10:00. EVERY NIGHT! I commend you on trying to break this cycle. I am not ready yet, but I know I will be watching your progress here. Good Luck and I wish you a good night's sleep.
Hi Bert,
I was curious if you had also looked at getting your doctor to treat your anxiety?
Good Luck!
Leigh Ann
Bert, I too take a sleep aid and I think its totally worth it, like you say within a few minutes of hitting the pillow your sound asleep. I love it. No more of my mind racing or thinking about the most mundane things when I would like to be asleep. Sleep is I think one of the keys to good health. I say keep taking the pill.
Hi Bert, My suggestion would be to totally stop taking the pills. so what if you wont be able to sleep for a few days. I'm sure you can put up a good show anyway. But not taking the pills at all is the only way to get away from them. Good luck to you on shaking off this addiction.
Hey Bert-
I have ridden the Lunesta train as well. I gave it up in favor of a natural pill - Melatonin. You can find it at most GNC-type stores. It's what our body produces naturally that gives us that "sleepy" feeling.
I also drink a natural tea - Sleepytime Extra - some nights just to help me chill and relax before bed.
Hope this helps!
Good Luck Bert! I am anxious to see how it goes!!
Good Luck Bert!
good luck, Bert! it'll be difficult, but i know you can do it!
You can do it Bert! Way to take back control.
Good luck with it Bert. I have the same sleeping problems. You were smart to go with prescription meds...I went the Merlot route. It is just as hard, if not more so...and I STILL can't sleep! Keep us posted.
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